The veil has been lifted

I had an epiphany today.  It is such a blessing when you become aware and the veil has been lifted.  Veils are typically transparent but makes what is in front of you blurry or murky.  Things that I have known for years – my intuition and gut, but when it becomes clear, well – like I said – what a blessing.  I have known that my parents are truly good -hearted people who are kind, giving, honest, and altruistic.   I have literally been taught to be loyal and considerate.  This is modeled behavior.  Which is why I am impacted when this is not reciprocated and even more frustrating when loyalty is expected from me, but I should understand the myriad of unreasonable, non-cohesive excuses why others miss the mark on requiting loyalty. (Utterly laughable!)

When people take my kindness for weakness – when it is absolutely power and strength. I realize that what actually is unacceptable are the people who are manipulative, take advantage are selfish with narcissistic tendencies.  As an only child and a parent it is my responsibility to care for and protect my parents and child.  This is a matter of fact and non-negotiable. 

I will no longer be quite in order to “keep peace”, “not ruffle feathers” as though this is some unwritten law.  Or essentially encourage, ignore or justify those offenders who attempt to manipulate, leverage or capitalize on their kindness.  In essence, we are not helping these people – rather we are enabling this behavior.  

It is ignorant to just look at what someone has – whether material or relationships etc. and say it is okay to do this, because they have this or that. That is not your place, or give you the right to justify your “user” tendencies. 

This has been cathartic and I am grateful for this clarity. I don’t know if anyone else has had these feelings and if so, I pray for your clarity and hope this is encouraging.

Mommy & Daddy I truly love and respect you! 

The act of love

Our strength comes from within. Say what you want. Focus on your dreams and goals. Be kind and generous and let the light and love inside you shine through. 

Make sure you let your loved one know you love them and everyone who sees you will know.  Do not be ashamed to show your love!  If someone is ashamed of showing you - then perhaps they don't truly love you and that is ok. Move on. 

Notice I said show and tell!! 

Seriously

I am a singer and therefore a lover of music. In the past, have resisted having paying for for radio. Once my trial ended in my new cars-oh well. But I have been converted and honestly listen to one station. I love talk radio. Unfortunately, I don't listen to the music stations as the language is vulgar and the versions are "E". I am not sure why artists feel they have to curse and talk about sex but that is a topic for another blog....

Here's the deal,  the hosts of the station are informative, educational and entertaining. Some of the callers annoy the heck out of me. Gosh, should I facilitate a "Radio Call in Etiquette Learning  Annex"?  However it is a "free" country and there is "freedom" of speech. But my word, the ignorance in the content and delivery is mind boggling.

Another gripe is when hosts or their guest hosts say that they are not skewed on a topic, but it is clear as water, they are barring upon a particular political candidate or topic. Please just put your stake in the sand. It is actually insulting when you don't. It is contradictory to say you do not judge but you think that your listeners are oblivious your stance.

We should feel comfortable to have different opinions and have discussions.  Yes we here the do whistle and are listening with our third ears 😀.  Listen we are tuned in, be real just like you encourage your listeners.

With this being said, I look forward to listening. I'm not into "Urban" but I appreciate the "The View"- seriously LOL.

Signs

God sends us messages all of the time. Sometimes I thinks God's reaction is, now come on girl, when are you going to get it?"  As an only child it has been important for me to have a close knit circle - of family and friends.  Although at my the core, feeling that it is really just me and the terrific 3.

There are some extended families who are very cohesive and some who are disjointed. As an adult, I have intrinsically been on an island. Perhaps this is why I believe that family extends beyond a blood line or little green leaf.
  There people who do not share my DNA been have been as loyal to me as I have been to them - no betrayal with excuses about their lives and envy of yours; who care about me and my immediate family and check in on us and are supportive.  For those folks, I will be forever grateful and will always be there.

The awakening is when expectations quickly turn into disappointments and you see the seasons change with your relationships. Some who begin to change and wither, like autumn transitioning into winter. Some who continue to flourish like the flowers blooming in spring.

I must embrace this admit that I do not want to have that "island" feeling - rather to travel first class to an island. I do however, always want to see the signs....

Listen, when someone always around and then someone else says "why are you always around them" and you then become scarce - that is a sign.

When someone only has time for you when the the focal point is about them and then too busy when you want to share what is going on in your life- yes a sign.

When someone can severe a friendship over something small, but forgive a man for cheating or any other disrespect- signs...

Embrace reality and surround yourself with positivity and consistency. You do not have always be the one to extend an olive branch. Strive for those holistic organic relationships. Life is too short. Know when it is time to re-position people or just give it up.

Skin is always in....

Skin Care is extremely important.  Care should begin very early (like birth) and maintained throughout your life.  As a 44-year-old woman, I have always paid attention to the health of my skin and have passed it on to my daughter.  Soft beautiful skin is a must have and MOISTURIZING in the key.  

That is your first step.  Ash on skin and dryness not is a NOT and please understand - this applies to ALL hues.  Not cute... 

As I mentioned, my daughter has always had a skin care regimen. This has included Johnson and Johnson baby lotion, Aveeno, Mustela Hydra Bebe, Kiehl's for children and as she has grown. 

She is now a teenager and has used Nars Luminous Moisture Cream, Josie Maran Argan Oil.

Yes this is serious business in our home. 

 Ok - I am not going to go through all of the products that I have used to date as that would be a long read.....so let's talk about my current favs and nots..

My skin facts: I have sensitive to combination skin.  Although I have certainly made efforts to nourish my skin, that does not mean that I do not have issues.  My skin care issues are not severe (thank God) but they are annoyances to me.  We (my daughter and I) have a dermatologist and I have had one for many many years.  Now I seem to have found the most extroverted Dermatologists in Westchester County, NY.  Both always greet me by saying, "what are you doing here?"- "you have beautiful skin".  My response, is "I can imagine that you have patients with more severe needs, but my concerns are mine and it is better to be proactive and quite honestly, I pay you....".

I sometimes have breakouts that can be caused by heat rash, a product, the elements etc. I even get what I call a "Pageant Tattoo" which is an eczema outbreak on my ring finger that turns bright red when my daughter is competing and have noticed it when I am super stressed at work....

Here are the products that I am currently using and have been using for years:

La Mer, Dermatologica, Trish McEvoy, Dr. Jart, Caudile, and Adore

Please note, that I will use multiple product from skin care lines based upon the condition of my skin and what works well for me.  

It is about trial and error.

I am in a quest for a cleanser that will give me the deepest cleanse, yet sensitive.  I can't stand when I have washed my face and then go to apply the toner and there is residual makeup on the cotton square.

My go to products are La Mer and  Dermaologica (I have asterisked my personal favs)

*Cleanser $85

*Moisturizing Cream $170-320

Brightener $90

Oil Cleanser $85

 *Toner $85

La Mer is high-end but I have definitely seen my ROI (return on investment).

Dermalogica is a great product and it is cost effective 

*Toner $42

Cleanser $37

*Super Vitamin$68

Cleanser $37

Smoothing Cream$62

Heat refining scrub $42

Super Rich Repair M$62

Rose Arctica Lightweight Cream $60

Kiehl's is a great product and it is inexpensive

Vitamin C Cream$75.50

The jury is out on the Trish McEvoy product... It does give a tingling sensation.

Adore Organic Eye Serum $595

This is super expensive but it works! 





Let me be clear, when I say “skin care”, I am referencing my entire body.  We use Neutrogena Sesame Oil and Organic Coconut Oil.

Used on all skin

Body Moisturizer

 Be good to your skin and your skin will be go to you!!

Loyalty Program

We are living in an era where loyalty is becoming extinct.  Yes extinct, like the Amur Leopard, 

    

the South China Tiger, or the Ivory Billed Woodpecker

Loyalty extends pretty much in warped speed.  This is reflected in the countless “Loyalty Programs” retailers have created so that consumers will return to their establishment – promising discounts.  Frequent flyer miles are competing with the growing websites where you can search for the “best price”. 

 Let’s go deeper – relationships too have suffered.  Many are focused on themselves and having their needs met – without consideration of others family or friend.  There is a sense of entitlement and an outbreak of narcissism.  Loyalty is actually expected on that one-way street – “you be loyal to me” but “hey – nothing personal” when it comes to reciprocation.

"I love you" and “we are family or "besties"– when it is convenient – in other words when it beneficial for me.  Can I come with you to this event, may I borrow some money, can you take me here, come support me or can you do me a favor?  When you say – can YOU……. The slew of excuses start flooding in… I am tired, I can’t, something came up, I don’t have any money, I have a plethora of anxieties…… But what is forgotten, is SOCIAL MEDIA – when those same excuses become miracles and posted on FB, IG, SC.  LOL you are busted. You so lose your credibility and trust. 

Be honest, although the person may not like it – it is still respected. 

The truth is, people do what they WANT to do PERIOD. 

Once you understand or except this fact – your stress and disappointment will diminish.  Whatever you are giving you are receiving.  You make the choice and create the frequency.

Loyalty is a skill – actually a virtue.  No one is perfect and we all make mistakes but do not expect it if YOU don’t give it.

Mommy's Day

This is the day that has been set aside to honor Mothers.  I was going to through shade at Hallmark but Mother' Day is acknowledged throughout the world.  Perhaps not on the same day - but celebrated nonetheless. Mothers and Fathers should be honored and celebrated.....everyday. We will all see the FB celebratory messages to/from our friends and friends of friends.

The truth is...there is no greater gift than to be a Mommy.  Yes - I said Mommy (which at 44 years old) is what I call my Mommy:)

My Mommy has always been beautiful! For those who know me...know that I am the shopping MVP...well guess who I got it from????  My Mommy... Shopping was an event for as far back as I can remember!

Yasss honey doing shows... 

My Mommy was an executive, she is a wife, daughter, sister, friend, Nana... She was always supportive of my activities, goals everything.  She loves God! She is a great listener and not shy about giving you her opinion --Virgo---. She has always honored my Daddy (because he is deserving). She is always helping people in need and extending her self via her advice, space, and prayers (to all ages).

She small in size, but huge in strength!
 I love her to the moon and back a ca-billion times plus.

I love you Mommy

My heart and prayers goes out to those whose Mommies have passed.  I can imagine (but do not want to) the loneliness and hurt you feel everyday but particularly on this day.  Please know that your Mommy is your heavenly angel.

Thank you to aunts, friends and unofficial official Godmothers who are supportive and truly take active roles in our children's lives.

Just saying.......

And, to those males who choose not to celebrate Mother's Day with their wives/girlfriends/mothers of your children because, "she is not my Mother" shame on you and you are just CHEAP.... I leave you with these prophetic words.... Boy BYE!